Wow really brave of you to be sharing such a vulnerable part of your life with so many. To the question you ask of was the person that you could have been ceased to exist at that time? The alternative person you're thinking about would be entirely different. This other person may not have had the same empathy, the same introspection, the same resilience as the person that is you now. Of course having an understanding of your trauma and processing it would be helpful in managing the scars and something we should all do as a part of our routine self-improvement.